i'm tired

of not being important enough to him.

of having to second-guess his behaviour and actions.

of waiting for the phone call that never comes.

of being available to him.

i can see, as time eats away at me, more and more that he is not the one for me. and slowly, i'm consciously and forcingly letting him go in my heart.

he can never change. and he will never change, not even at the expense of losing me.

i don't think he will ever let anyone mean that much to him. even if he might let that on, in his heart, he doesn't need anyone. and i think he really doesn't.

i'm sad because i don't think i had imagined all this feelings and all this time we've spent together.

but i'm grateful for the time spent with him.

he made me realise i could love again.