i feel better

than i did a week ago.

there's a lot less crying, there's a lot less mourning.

i still pine for whatever it was i thought we had - there's a certain emptiness in me - but i'm so certain that feeling will go away soon.

i felt bad about what i did yesterday.

he was being civil and friendly - but i was just too annoyed and mad at him. and then i thought about all those times that i was ignored and disregarded. then i didn't feel so bad after that.

the thing is, though, knowing him, it was just like water of a duck's back. he didn't feel anything.

i'm a bit angry at myself - it's not in my nature to be like that (it's in his though) - but that was the hurt talking, i guess.

did it make me feel better?

a bit. i felt i had somehow empowered myself.

and thus i find strength in my decision and am convinced this is the right path to recovery.

this is the best path for me.