i just can't understand

how some people think that everyone else's lives revolves about them, and every little thing we do, is about them.

i mean, you can be self-involved and selfish all you want, but please stop being a pain to other people, for god's sake!

after a while, it's just sad.

i don't know why

but i still feel, even all these good times we're having, that he wants, nay, needs, the attention from other women.

should i be bothered by that? am i bothered by that?

i think i used to be very bothered. but that has lessened as we are more together.

these past five days have almost matched the 10 days in november we had spent together. it was bliss.

i miss him already.

there's still room for doubt...

he spent some time with his colleagues in a HOTEL ROOM after he had said he was going back to the office at the end of a function. i suppose the fact that he told me about it was something but still, i had to do some probing!

he went to great lengths to describe how there were a lot of people there but i couldn't help noticing that SHE was there too. of course he said they were just having room service dinner and were just hanging out but...all this gives me a bad feeling.

how far do i draw the line between trusting and not trusting him? when will i feel really secure and comfortable?

there are times that i feel he's being completely straight and truthful with me but there are times i feel that he's not. not that's he's PURPOSELY HIDING something but just that it doesn't occur to him to tell me things, things that would comfort me.

at what point will i decide enough is enough?

i really don't know.

i think that we're making some progress...

he has introduced me to a good friend and his body language during the meal that we all shared has indicated to her, i think, that we may be 'something'

he has given me a early valentine's present and i love it

he seems to always want to see me

he's interested in getting to know my family

he tells me everything

i will continue not pushing it and just play it by ear

all signs are good

but there are still nagging doubts:

we've reached the stage where we don't know what to refer to each other as. 'my friend' seems too understated while 'my boy/girlfriend' just seems ewwww.

he has these other women who fancy him and he doesn't let it on that he's seeing someone. why is that? to feed his ego? to not lose his lustre?

but i feel it's a small battle. i will only fight the big ones.

here goes...

so i'm dating this guy. and i don't have a job. and i want to own and do many things in life but i can't just yet. or i'm just scared of going out there and getting them.

i have issues. and i want to whine. so i'm doing it here.